


a common language for women in the integrated circuit

by raktajinos



Category: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Genre: Cyborgs, Donna Haraway, Female Character In Command, Female Characters, Female Relationships, Femininity, Feminism, Fluid Sexuality, Gen, Identity Issues, Literary Theory, Motherhood, POV Female Character, Poetry, Power Dynamics, Robot Feels, Robotics, Sexuality, War, cultural theory, cyborg manifesto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-17 11:59:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raktajinos/pseuds/raktajinos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unconvential, free form exploration of how Sarah and Catherine are very similar. A dialogue of cyborgs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a common language for women in the integrated circuit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Trobadora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trobadora/gifts).
  * Inspired by [A Common Language for Women in the Integrated Circuit](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/24106) by Donna Haraway. 



> I really hope you like this, its not something I've ever done before and it was definitely a risk. I was really intrigued by the idea of duality between Sarah and Catherine, how they are so very similar yet different and how they both live in this weird, changing world of flesh + machine. So I wanted to explore that, wanting to tell two parallel voices on the same topics...and a poem like this just seemed to make the most sense. 
> 
> I know its not conventional, but I really hope you like it. I had a great time writing it; one of the most enjoyable things I've had to write. 
> 
> (Sarah's narrative is on the left, Catherine's on the right, with their unified voice down the middle)

a common language for women in the integrated circuit

 

 

what am i

at the center of my ironic faith, is the image of the cyborg

it is my blasphemy

it is what I am not

it is what I am

cyborg; hybrid of human and machine

am I really?

my skin has no reality

a reflection of what I see elsewhere

perhaps I am more machine than human

 

I try; the weapons and technology I grasp

onto so strongly

does that make me cyborg?

they detach, and all that is left is

…flesh

 

a creature of fiction

fabricated identity

the monsters of literature

the demons of cinema

I am spectacle

the hardened soldier

a woman devoid

an icon.

 

a creature of social reality

woman.

mother.

sexual being.

soldier.

leader.

badass.

a collection of

skin

tissue

blood and bone

electrons

programming

consciously arranged features

 

my blasphemy

my lies

who am I

who I am

 

 

 

femininity

they say cyborgs have no sexuality

that they are conceived as coded devices

 

I am not coded

I do as I want; I have choice

I am

a person

a woman?

 

by the rules of society I am not

I am too:

harsh

violent

cold

power hungry

driven

opinionated

 

I am a

representation                                                                 simulation

of the ideal

designed to reflect the idyllic real

that which is desired most.

the _perception_ of it

 

for it is fake

neither representation

nor simulation

natural                                                                          artificial

woman.

neither right

neither wrong

a failure by one estimation or another

 

I am unique

I am a woman

outside of anyone’s expectations

so far beyond what is

_acceptable_

I am my own category.

 

I am both

heat                                                                 noise

a loud, hot, irresistible spectral

of ferocity

 

they fear my | they bow down to my

strength.

 

desire

I know it well                                        is foreign to me

it is

frustrating

I seek to

control my biology                               explore the possibilities

to taste, to feel

the flesh of another

for them to feel mine

to connect.

I am not supposed to feel desire

it is not programmed into me

yet this is not the first time I have

_;expanded_

upon my programming.

Changed the rules from what

 _they_ intended me to be.

desire gets in my way

distracts me from

The Mission.

scratch an itch

with whomever is there.

strangers meeting in the night

only a physical connection.

a means to and end

a way to refocus my body

my mind.

The cyborg is a creature

of a post-gender world

I have assumed the body of

woman.

I identify as

woman.

I am subject to the expectations

of this gendered world

as woman.

Yet it does not define me.

I can choose any lover I wish

a creature of choice

of freedom

is what I am

I understand the binary

yet it does not

control me.

my femininity is strong

high heels and blood

loaded gun and lipstick

not opposites

my lack of signifiers

or silent obeisance

is not a reflection of my lack of

femininity

or your lack of masculinity

the men I know are not threatened by my power

my form of femininity

I exist outside of narrow gender binaries

men | women | people

the same

our cases change

constant fluidity

 

 

 

 

 

motherhood

mother : child

both relate to me

I _feel_

 _I_ feel.

Protective, caring, responsibility

he is part of me                                                                                         she is not mine

 

reproduction

replication

is there even a difference

the other one

the girl; also child

mother of two warriors

she is more like me than he

Every generation should exceed the one before

she is the woman I wish to be

Cameron.

 

uncanny

the sight of mother and child

we look similar; yet

she has DNA

I have codes; allow me to

copy the image of her real mother

 

yet

I struggle to allow her to suffer

I should have eliminated her when I

assumed this form

yet I did not.

connection.

fear.

curiosity.

 

no one of my kind has children

we have upgrades

alterations, new models

I could not kill this child

yet I also cannot….

 _fail_ her.

 

raise children

amidst a war

while I play soldier

mother | solider

nurturer | murderer

save lives | take lives

uncertainty | control

 

 

 

 

the mission

is all that matters

it is what I do for the future

for my child; for my people

nothing else

 

they say modern war is a cybernetic orgy

how true it is

I fight the cyborgs

with one by my side

with the desire to be one burning

inside

 

we are here; we will win

they say

 

orgy

clashing

constantly fighting for dominance

parts meshing, melding

identities become fluid in this

new world

 

when its done

what will the victor look like

 

we strive to look more human

to act more human

to fit in, invade, subvert

 

we work to fight fire with fire

enhancing our bodies

with technology, with power

to fight them

on equal footing

when all is said and done

all this enhancing

to fight

to hide

what will the new world order look like

we will all be cyborgs

humans less human

robot less robotic.

will we be

more emotional

more caring

softer

harder

more defensive

broken

 

where will humanity be

 

power

it is all that matters

control

victory

these are concepts I know

love

kindness

these are concepts I resist

I must.

to win.

To defeat

her                                                                 her

 

not afraid of

permanently partial identities

or contradictory standpoints

 

what I am

is irrelevant

 

is all that matters

in the end will I be the mother of the new age

of a people borne through adversity

whose children will be chimera

 

replication | reproduction

mirrors

a binary blended in time;

theorized

fabricated identities

 

chimera

chimera

ghost in the machine

echo of myself

 

 

I seek to be

…more human

…more machine

 

cyborg

a way out of the maze

dualisms

our bodies explained

tools to ourselves

 

woman | women

connected.

a common language

integrated circuit.

 

my blasphemy is my reality

realism meets postmodernism

in an orgy of cybornetics; flesh meets metal

 

I am a

world changing fiction.

loud, voracious, powerful 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
